Diary of a Divorcee

"Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest..."

Fri, 17 May 2013 18:28:04 -0700

“Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.”

- N’tima (via inaudiblewords)

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around...."

Mon, 13 May 2013 18:19:34 -0700

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

- (Bob Marley)

I read this during my friends’ beach-front wedding ceremony, and the only comment I can offer is, “Well done, Bob Marley. Well said.”

(via doseofapathy)

How does the day go by so quickly?

Mon, 13 May 2013 17:04:43 -0700

Picked up the dog from the groomer
Went to the grocery store
Ran into my grandpa, immediately felt guilty
Came home, unloaded groceries
Time to turn on the AC
Researched bridal shoes, bird cage veils, etc.
Changed laundry
More relaxing

Later I will clean out my car and take the dogs for a walk… that’s all.

Mental Health Day

Mon, 13 May 2013 10:37:59 -0700

I’ve been a little on edge lately… It’s a combination of things— I’m not really happy where I work, the impending school program starting, the wedding, not having my house clean, my dress not being here yet, repeat offender family members being rude, the list goes on.

So, I decided to call in sick today. I needed it. (Bad thing: my boss, nor coworker ever acknowledged my texts this morning)

Today I have already:

Disinfected the bird cage
Taken the dog to the groomer
Hung up and put away all of my clothes
Started a ton of laundry
Cleaned out the linen cabinets and reorganized
Vacuumed the entire house
Thrown a bunch of junk away
Cleaned out the fridge
Looked for new jobs
Dusted

I still have plenty more to do. But, I’m taking a break… It feels so good to get this kind of stuff done. Cleansing almost. I would like to go one step further and clean out my closet again… That’s just taking it overboard, though. I’m just going to take it easy and relax. Life can wait for me for once.

Is it Friday yet???

Thu, 09 May 2013 20:20:51 -0700

Work was fine, better than fine.
Lunch with “sister” was amazing— al fresco, homemade, and the perfect amount of gabbing.
Shopped a little bit after work: it consisted of me looking at stores for dresses that 1) I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. An x-large maxi dress should NOT be available in ONLY horizontal stripes. 2) Too expensive (stupid “downtown” boutique. Your stuff was all overpriced and not that cute.
Dinner with mom and dad.
Started Roundhouse, the book, today.
Picked up a part of the Bear’s birthday gift, neosporin and 4 locally made sausages from my grandma this evening. Random, but great.
I vacuumed, I consider it a personal victory.
Made a hair appointment tomorrow. It’s at a crappy time… but, I can’t stand my hair right now. It’s necessary.
Probably going out to the river tomorrow, which will be fun.
Tonight: RELAXING!
Gosh, it’s been a week— hasn’t it?

asdfghjkl

Wed, 08 May 2013 21:04:16 -0700

Hooray for dental insurance! I can have as many teeth bonded as I want for only $50 copay!
Floral quotes are outrageous.
I finally told my uncle, my godfather, one of the men who has raised me, that his teasing is over the top. It upsets me. I can’t stand it.
Also: I’m officially over my feud with the family “business partner”. He can stay mad at me for as long as he’d like— nothing changes the fact that he’s a depressed drunk with a chip on his shoulder.
Numbers three and four of this list are uplifting, aren’t they?
I’m so glad that it’s Thursday tomorrow. I almost typed Friday. Wishful thinking?
I had a dental appointment today, obviously. My mouth is sore now!
The floor still needs to be vacuumed and the laundry still needs to be hung up. I OFFICIALLY DON”T CARE.
Gosh, I’m boring.
I’m starting to worry— my dress should be here any day.
I can’t wait to start school, possibly get a new job, and start fresh. My office walls are like prison these days.
I’m off to read a book…

Night ya’ll.

Just to prove I’m still alive, here’s some...

Mon, 06 May 2013 19:13:49 -0700

Just to prove I’m still alive, here’s some photographic evidence…

Seriously, today was the WORST Monday I’ve had in a long time. Work was so incredibly busy that I didn’t even have time to think— between the massive amount of workorders, the reports to be done and the end of April being closed out, I was swamped. Not to mention, both bosses are gone (which is actually great) and another one of the office ladies is going to be out two days this week with a root canal. Plus, I feel like I sort of got gypped (for lack of a better word) on a fun weekend. I had a bunch of stuff planned, but didn’t execute about 80% of it, instead opting to clean, run errands and hang out with the Bear. I never cocktailed, or bowled, or anything! That’s not like me at all.

In addition to my business at work, I have been keeping busy on the life front. Today I got a quote from a florist regarding bouquets and specialty flowers for the wedding. I also spoke with a friend who was upset because she didn’t receive her invitation yet; NEWSFLASH! it was sent back to me ‘return to sender’, so quit your bitchin’. Also, I treated myself to a pedi— my toes looked terrible. I stopped and looked for maxi dresses at Marshall’s and TJ Maxx— nothing. Tomorrow’s plan is going to be to send out the last of the invites, get another quote from the florist, deposit my check, and start paying bills for the month. Thank goodness it is pay week!

Another priority: dye my hair! I hate it with a passion! Cut and everything!

Right now I’m sitting on the couch with the bird under a blankie, typing this and listening to the fan whir. The floor needs vacuuming, my laundry needs to be hung up, and the kitchen floor needs to be mopped. But all of that can wait. I’m too exhausted.

I really feel like I need a change… the monotony sucks. Hopefully I will hear back from the teaching jobs I applied for. Who knows…

In the above photos: hanging out with OsoHappy last night, and partying with my bestie recently, of course I’m the one with the beer!

I'm still here...

Sun, 05 May 2013 20:40:53 -0700

Life has gotten so fast! All I do is work, work, work, then I have a short reprieve on the weekend— which flies by— then it all starts over again!
Only three weeks until my school starts
Only six weeks until the wedding!!!!!
I still have so much to do….
I’m so happy. Have I told you that?

Photo

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 18:37:07 -0700

Pro/Con:

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 22:45:58 -0700

Pro: It was an easy day at work today.
Con: Both bosses were there and it took FOREVER to go by.
Pro: I was able to get my invitations printed.
Con: I have to pick them up tomorrow and it took my entire lunch.
Pro: I SENT OUT MY FIRST OFFICIAL TEACHING APPLICATION!
Con: There isn’t one— there are TWO teaching positions at a great high school here in town. I hope I get one!
Pro: I was able to get my Freelance work done today!
Con: takes a lot of time.
Pro: I stained my hair today.
Con: I stained everything else, too… and had to spend a good hour cleaning my hands, face and the bathtub.
Pro: I printed out all of the materials needed to apply for my Emergency Teaching Credential, at least that way I can substitute while I go to school!
Con: I don’t know if I’ll get it or not.
Pro: I stood up for myself against my uncle today.
Con: I wish I would have really come down on him, HARD. I’m so sick of him trying to run my life. He has his own kids— who are virtually helpless— don’t be hard on me!
Pro: It’s Thursday tomorrow!
Con: I wish it was Friday!
Pro: I cleaned up the house a little.
Con: There is still a ton to do— vacuum around the bird cage, put away laundry, wipe the kitchen down, clean up the porch.
Pro: I love my little garden!
Con: my basil and watermelon plants aren’t doing so well because of the wind.

You know, sometimes I just have to say screw it— who cares what everyone thinks about me? I’m trying my best, and that’s all that matters. So what, my uncle is hard on me. I’m not going to let him bother me, or at least I will try— because he really can get to me sometimes.

I’m so thankful for the love of my life, the Bear. He’s amazing, and so is our little family. I’m not going to worry about anything else but being me.

So busy...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 21:51:31 -0700

Costco, why won’t you let me order my wedding flowers early?
House, I don’t understand how you get messy so quickly.
Bird, I cannot pet you on your back because you think I’m trying to mate with you then pluck your feathers when I don’t mate with you.
Dogs, stop eating bird food.
Fiance, please quit waking me up in the middle of the night.
Self— I don’t understand why you can’t just go home after work and do your chores.
Also, self, will you ever learn that sandwiches are not your friend. Every time you eat one at lunch you have a low bloodsugar in the afternoon.
Boss, chill out! I’m not leaving yet. I freaking enrolled in night school.
Wedding, you’re a lot of work.
Body, cooperate.
Friends, why are you so lucky? Fun jobs, no bills, that’s not fair!
Week—- end already!

I hate that the Bear works swing shift. I never get to see him during the week— except for...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 20:20:40 -0700

I hate that the Bear works swing shift. I never get to see him during the week— except for when I sleep, and that doesn’t count, even though I do sleep basically on top of him.

He and I have just been so happy lately.

It’s awesome.

I don’t know what I did to deserve to be this happy.

Really…

I’m one lucky girl.

Still to clean

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 12:47:25 -0700

Mop the kitchen floor
Organize and dust my bedroom
Straighten up our bedroom
The bathroom!
Bird cage area
Vacuum

BRB,
Napping.

Weekends, why do you have to be so hard?

Friday is crazy over here...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 21:05:34 -0700

So, I went to work and did the job of three people— being only paid for one is the sucky part!

After work I met my mom at her house and went to Costco. They only had two things I needed— but I ended up getting a set of solar lights for the yard and two bath sheets, so I considered it a success. While my parents went for a walk, I applied for two teaching jobs. Both are in different towns than I live— but, oh well. I hope I can get hired on somewhere. I’m not making the kind of money I deserve right now.

Next we had a sushi dinner, which was great.

When we got back to their house I “fur-minated” the dog, borrowed the “furminator” and loaded up all of my stuff into the car, including Diego who had been staying at their house for the past few days. D needs to go over there at least once a month! He doesn’t get enough exercise here; at least at their house he runs around.

I’ve been having a wild evening tonight, if you can’t tell. I’m going to cap it off with some “pre-cleaning” as I call it. All that means is that I organize the clutter around the house and get the basics done. Tomorrow I’m going to get a deep clean on. The Bear invited a bunch of his family over to see the house for the first time. We’ve lived here six months already! You know me, I can’t have ANYONE over unless the house is perfectly clean.

Tomorrow my plan is to:

Sleep in
Clean the birdcage area (her new thing is to throw all of her food out of the cage when she is mad at us… great!)
Sanitize the bird cage
Vacuum
Mop
Scrub bathroom
Dust (I need Pledge!)
Meet Gram to pick up Spring plates, magic eraser (she has them in bulk!), and a few other things
Go buy new throw pillows (I hate mine)
Along with the throw pillows, get a couple of new decorative towels and bathroom rugs
Laundry
Rip out the lavender bush in the front yard (it’s half dead)
Plant some flowers where it was
Clean the kitchen
PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh, doesn’t it sound crazy?!

Mondays are icky

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 19:17:47 -0700

Mondays suck because everyone is cranky and why I am the only person who can get their job done?
PS: Don’t chat me up at work, I don’t care what you have to say.
I FINALLY finished the menu project I have been working on for a freelance client. It’s taken me almost a month with her design rejections and the layout issues.
Back to the dieting… Gosh, I hate it.
I feel bad for being a no-call, no-show to a party this weekend. But, 1) you have flaked on me plenty of times, 2) Easter was the following morning and I didn’t want a hangover
I might take a bath tonight, that sounds relaxing
I love the Bear
Baby has been laying on my chest asleep for over an hour. Sweet bird!
My next big goal: get the invitations addressed, stamped and sent out.
Now, will someone get their butt over here and make me dinner?

Today has been a helluva day...

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 21:42:08 -0700

I’ve been soooo busy, and I know it’s self-inflicted. But gosh, how do people do so much in a day?!

Today I:

Work, work, work (one day closer to pay day!)
Was told that I will be going to a huge meeting in the field (stressful!)
Donated the clothes I cleaned out of my closet yesterday
Got gas. There was a homeless man outside of the gas station… For some reason I felt like doing something for him. It was sort of hot and he look depressed. I bought him a tall can of Budweiser. When I pulled over to give it to him, he said “Thanks, but I have three other mouths to feed,” and gestured to an RV parked where I wouldn’t have noticed it at first. My jaw visibly dropped. “Ummm…” “Don’t get me wrong. Thanks…” He continued on. “Good luck with everything.” I muttered before pulling away. I felt like a sucker.
I went to Target and bought another pair of shorts, two tank tops, some toiletries, and some carpet cleaner.
Went to the pet store and bought dog food (they only had low fat, sorry Diego!), a bird toy, and a sandpaper type perch for the bird. She loves her new stuff!
Came home to flowers and a love note! I LOVE THAT BOY!
Cleaned the carpets
Vacuumed
Cleaned the bird’s area
Made dinner (elk sausage spaghetti)
Made four fliers for a freelance job
Got a call from my mom that a package and a check came. Yay!
Paid part of my credit card bill.
Printed the fliers once they were proofed.
Folded clothes and put them away
Mentally chose tomorrow’s outfit
Talked to the bear
Freaked out about the menu freelance gig that I keep putting off. (It is an ugly design, really complicated, and I hate it!)
Made a list for the Bear to do tomorrow

Now it’s time for bed…

Gosh, it’s only Wednesday tomorrow. I wish I had Friday off like the Bear. That would be nice. There are so many things to do this weekend… I won’t be able to do all of them unless I get some rest!

Things to do this weekend:

Softball game Friday
Cupcake tasting Saturday
BBQ Saturday
Trailer Trash Bash Saturday
Have to make deviled eggs Sunday
Easter Sunday

More errands to do this week:

Take fliers out to clients
FINISH MENU!!!!!
Other freelance work
Have my nails done
Take clothes to Crossroads
Secure party rentals
Finalize wedding guest list
Have car washed
Buy: carpet powder and root killer for pipes
Make appointment with advisor
Take clothes to dry cleaner
Clean bathroom and kitchen

Alright… I’ve gotta go to bed. All of this is making me exhausted.

Tomorrow's Plans

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 20:57:23 -0700

Work again… Boo!
Deposit money, pay bills
Lunch break: donate clothes
Errands after work: buy carpet cleaner, dog food, bird toys, different colors of shorts from Target
Clean carpets
Put more laundry away
Do last load of laundry
Start on menu

I felt like I haven’t written here in forever… I have tons of things to say, just not...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 20:42:43 -0700

I felt like I haven’t written here in forever… I have tons of things to say, just not enough time in the day to write. Oh well… It’s mostly just been wedding stuff.

Today I:
-Worked, worked, worked
-Made an appointment to have our cake tasting (Saturday!)
-Bought four pair of shorts and six tshirts on my lunch break
-Went to my grandma’s, picked up the food she made me
-Went over to my Aunt’s to hang out
-Came home and cleaned out my closet and dressers
-Did two loads of laundry and put everything away
-Started a couple more loads of laundry
-Played with the bird
-Freed up some space on the DVR

Now: I’m going to finish watching tv, bag up the clothes to donate, and then go to bed…

It’s been a crazy month. I’m sunburnt, I’ve almost paid for our entire honeymoon, I bought a second wedding dress, and I’m excited for a brand new day.

Okay start to the week

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 20:49:24 -0700

Even though they were giving me the cold shoulder at work for calling in sick on Friday, I had a pretty good day today. There is one lady in the office that is allllllllll up in my business— she’s gone for the week on vacation. Score! I don’t have to listen to your crappy music.
I was able to pay off my credit card today; which is great because that means a bunch of the wedding is paid off. Now, all I have to do is get the rest of the honeymoon, and the rentals paid off.
I got all of my freelance work done.
I didn’t get my chores done, but I don’t really give a crap.

Speaking of chores:

Get an oil change
Clean out closet
Donate clothes
Laundry: put away
Vacuum
Get nails done
Start tanning
Put together application package

To Do Today

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 08:18:09 -0800

Get ready
Eat something
Mani/Pedi
Go look at rentals
Give Aunt her gift
Clean the house
HAVE FUN!