Diary of a Divorcee

The time has come for me to let go…

Let go of my past, let go of the guy who I’ve been filling the void with, let go of everything but myself.

I’ve absolutely had a hell of a day. I had to dump someone for the first time in years… it was awful.

But, it had to be done.

Also: food poisoning today. Ugh…

Hey guys and gals out there in tumblrland… I can’t believe it has almost been two months since I’ve regularly blogged! Probably longer, but still… That’s the longest I’ve we’d gone without blogging. It makes me sad…

Things have just been so busy in my life. Plus, I’d be lying if I said that this blog is just a reminder of what I lost. It’s a huge gaping wound for me still. I didn’t know how hard this was going to be.

So, for a while there, G was telling me that he wanted to get back together. But then, one day out of the blue I got word from my brother that divorce papers showed up at my parents house. I was devastated. Somewhere, back there, I had thought that maybe this would all blow over and we would get back together.

No. It’s gotten pretty ugly. He’s depressed, says its PTSD (which I don’t doubt), and has absolutely gone off the deep end. He is getting help, but won’t include me.

On my end, I’m just so busy with my new job at the hometown newspaper that I barely even have time for myself. I’m pulling ten hour days doing sales and design, plus writing a little on the side. It’s demanding and I love it. But going from zero to sixty in less than a year has been hard on me.

I’m exhausted every single night. I go to bed at 9, and six comes in the blink of an eye. I don’t have Internet at my apartment, it’s down at the main house, but I hate to blog there… There’s no privacy.

My life has been fun, though. My friends and family have really stuck by my side. I’ve kept that guy around and added a couple more dates in the mix. It’s nothing serious, but it keeps my mind off of things.

On top of it all, I’m just really transitioning like a whirlwind. I can’t stop changing. I won’t. And I’m finding that my personality has come back— no more defeat of infertility, no more sadness because I’m lonely.

Oh! Also— you guys would be so proud of my new wardrobe! I’m super happy with my new style and the money I have to spend on clothes! Hahah…

Well, I miss and love you all… I hope this was good enough. I’ll try harder, I promise.

Kiki

I promise I’m still alive.

This job is kicking my ass… I’m so busy! Living for the weekends and all…

I’ve been playing hard, though. for example, I now drive an Audi station wagon and wear Victoria’s Secret clothes!

Of course, there have been developments in the divorce. He changed his mind now— wants me back. Obviously, I haven’t ran back down South.

A proper update is coming soon. For now, though, sleep.

Miss and kiss you guys!

Message me if there’s been any huge news I need to know about!